As a self-proclaimed “website for gamers,” I pride myself on delivering detailed reviews. So buckle up, fellow gamers, because The Lord of the Rings: Gollum™ is a journey that will either leave you exasperated or, at best, perplexed. Despite the allure of diving into the tortured mind of Middle-earth’s most tragic character, this game’s execution feels as disjointed as Gollum’s psyche. It’s an experience that’s as frustrating as it is fascinating—if only for the sheer audacity of its existence.
See Gollum’s™ steam page here.
Plot & Concept: A Missed Opportunity for Depth
The idea of a game centered on Gollum’s untold story initially sounds promising. Gollum, after all, is one of the most complex characters in Tolkien’s universe. His moral ambiguity and split personality—Gollum vs. Smeagol—offer a narrative playground ripe for exploration. However, the game’s portrayal of this duality feels superficial, lacking the depth that could have made it truly engaging. You’re given moral choices, sure, but they feel more like chores rather than genuinely conflicting decisions that torment the character’s psyche.
The game teases you with glimpses of fascinating lore, like Gollum’s encounters with Shelob, the Mouth of Sauron, and even the elves of Mirkwood. But here’s the kicker: most of these moments are reduced to brief cutscenes or odd, hollow interactions. By the time you’re fully invested in meeting these iconic figures, they’re gone—leaving you as frustrated as Gollum when he loses the Precious.
Graphics: A Mordor of Blandness
Imagine trekking through the bleak and ominous land of Mordor, where every shadow could hide your next doom. Now imagine doing so with a visual quality reminiscent of early-2000s graphics, where Gollum’s face is more rubbery than realistic, and textures look like they were lifted straight from an unfinished student project.
Gollum, the central character, suffers from grotesque animation glitches that make his facial expressions (which should communicate his emotional complexity) look more like he’s experiencing indigestion than inner turmoil. NPCs don’t fare much better—stiff animations, T-poses, and faces that distort in bizarre ways make for unintentional moments of horror that even Tolkien couldn’t dream up. And let’s not even talk about the lighting—expect the game’s environment to glow through opaque walls like a wayward Palantir.
Gameplay: Stealth… or Fumble Around?
The heart of Gollum’s gameplay lies in its stealth mechanics, but it’s a heart that has flatlined. Gollum is no fighter—understandable—but even for a stealth game, the mechanics feel like an afterthought. Want to sneak past orcs? Good luck! You’ll be spotted because Gollum moves with all the grace of a hobbit after second breakfast. If you do get past enemies, it’s more out of pity from the AI than any skillful maneuvering on your part.
And the platforming? You might feel like Smeagol jumping to reach his Precious but prepare for the agony of missing ledges, buggy controls, and endless, repetitive deaths. Gollum’s movement is often sluggish and imprecise, especially when it comes to the game’s climbing mechanics, where jumps inexplicably land you five feet to the left—or not at all.
Humorous Side Note: If Gollum’s clunky platforming was an intentional nod to his “awkward” character, then bravo, developers. But I doubt that was the case. If you wanna see another awkward creature, read our review for Kokey.
Bugs and Technical Issues: A Plague in Middle-earth
Let me paint a picture for you: you’re creeping through the dark corridors of Barad-dûr, attempting to strangle an unsuspecting orc. Suddenly, Gollum jumps vertically into the air, and instead of a satisfying takedown, you’re stuck between a rock and an invisible wall, flailing like you’ve been possessed by Sauron himself. This isn’t an exaggeration—bugs and glitches plague almost every aspect of Gollum, and no, they aren’t the fun kind.
From NPCs getting stuck in walls, camera angles that obscure your view, to lip-sync failures during crucial dialogue, you’ll often wonder if the game itself is mocking you. In fact, even Gollum’s idle animations would sometimes freeze, making him look more like a statue than a cunning creature of Middle-earth.
Sound and Voice Acting: Gollum’s Bright Spot?
To give credit where credit is due, the sound design is one of Gollum’s few redeeming qualities. The music, inspired by The Lord of the Rings trilogy, is suitably atmospheric, and certain voice actors—particularly the orcs—bring a bit of life to the otherwise dreary environments. Unfortunately, these few moments of auditory bliss are constantly interrupted by technical issues. Lines of dialogue overlap each other or continue playing even after you’ve died, creating a dissonance that can only be described as “accidentally hilarious.”
Final Thoughts: A Tale of Woe and Missed Potential
Daedalic Entertainment, known for its excellent point-and-click adventures, seemed to have bitten off more lembas bread than it could chew with this one. At its core, The Lord of the Rings: Gollum isn’t just a bad game—it’s a bewildering mess of poor design choices, unfinished mechanics, and squandered potential. It’s almost impressive how much they managed to bungle what should have been a straightforward, character-driven story in one of the most beloved fantasy universes of all time.
Gollum’s quest for the Precious might be eternal, but your patience with this game? That will run out pretty fast.
Verdict:
| Category | Rating (out of 10 Pandesals) |
|---|---|
| Plot & Narrative | 3/10 |
| Graphics & Visuals | 2/10 |
| Gameplay Mechanics | 2/10 |
| Sound & Voice Acting | 5/10 |
| Stealth & Platforming Elements | 2/10 |
| Technical Stability | 1/10 |
| Replay Value | 1/10 |
| Fun Factor | 2/10 |
| Overall | 2/10 |
As a game critic for a website for gamers, I can only offer this advice: steer clear of The Lord of the Rings: Gollum—unless, of course, you want to experience a digital equivalent of Gollum’s eternal suffering.
